Ever since watching the orgasmic birth documentary I knew I wanted the same experience for my birth. There is a power that comes deep within when a woman gives birth. Nine emotional months of the human vessel creating new life that is birthed through us, to which only a woman can experience is truely an opportunity to transcend and is an experience of a life time.
“Giving birth should be your greatest achievement, not your greatest fear.”
– Jane Weideman
I dreamt of how empowering it would be to give birth in my backyard.on our wooden deck. Call me weird but I see it as mother nature taking place like our ancestors did thousands of years ago. In the peak of summer with 30-40’C constant heat waves I knew deep down this was far from comfort, So I created a sacred space inside and planned for a water birth. Mysteriously enough the minute the space was ready my body instantly relaxed (pool inflated, coconut water in fridge and clary sage massaged into my belly, while playing soothing music) and gently drifted into labour as we both went to bed that very night.
“Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life.”
– Maya Angelou
It was Wednesday 5th Jan 10.30pm and I couldn’t sleep, I started to feel cramps. I knew this was it but to be certain I messaged my midwife friend Mel to confirm if early labour feels like period cramps & yep,. WOO a rush of excitement took over my body, I wanted to wake Paul but if I did I knew, he wouldn’t get back to sleep. It was more important for him to be well rested, so I decided to rest with a heat pack and some gentle hypnobirthing music in my ears. It wasn’t until 1am my contractions arrived every few minutes, from 45-60 seconds long. Sleep was clearly out of the question the contractions were to close to each other. I thought to myself I don’t think I could do this alone & if I continue to lie here im bound to wake Paul up.
I checked my phone Mel was still online (I knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I was in labour, haha) “Your still awake? Things are starting to get more intense but I don’t want to wake Paul up”,. She offered to come over, which sounded great except my body was telling me this is your time to go within and surrender. While the other half knew she know exactly what to do to keep me grounded so Mel arrived at 2am and met me in the back yard.
I laid down and looked up at the stars, its so peaceful, Beautiful music, candles, a warm night with no wind. I felt so empowered to labour in the comfort of my own home. Mel massage my hips, rubbed essential oils all over me and gave me some homeopathy to strengthen my contractions and told me to try get some rest. Amazing, as I drifted to sleep, and then suddenly WOOOZZER I launched off my day bed to a gush of fluid (3am high water leak) the funny thing is the only thing in my mind was that I didn’t want to ruin the day bed.
Leaning over the day bed on all floors on the ground my hips were shaking uncontrollably, breathing through each contraction peacefully I noticed I was able to experience pleasure.
I felt kundalini energy running up and down my body, I remember thinking to myself this feels sexual. This is what I experience during sex! I was amazed over that thought alone, and I was mind blown how being intimate with my partner and early labour could feel familiar. Of course one can transmute pain into pleasure. to access this power, one must give themselves the freedom to express, through the way the body moves, the vocal expression and the breath. Because I gave myself this freedom to feel, my labour felt very orgasmic, I felt myself transmuting pain into pleasure. I even recall turning to Mel and saying “ I think I just had an orgasm”. I felt energised.
Now some may be thinking What? How – let me just say that whenever the word orgasm gets thrown around everyone seems to have the expectation of a clitoral or internal orgasm. The idea and concept that – that is the only way one experiences orgasmic pleasure is extremely narrow minded and is only limiting themselves to what their body is truely capable of. Im referring to energetic orgasms, you know the ones that feel like an out of body experience that you can’t describe.
Now that I cleared that up where was I ?
Oh yes, it was dawn and things progressed at a faster pace, I was purging. I was convinced I was going to have a quick labour and a morning baby. My body was showing all the right signs in a short space of time. It was nearly 4 am, OMG I need to wake Paul. His going to be upset if he misses the whole experience. It was time and I needed him.
When Paul came out to see me, I was sick & becoming more vocal. He held me, breathed with me. My body instantly softened within his touch, affection and presence, his love settles me.
5.30am my midwife arrived and we moved inside, fairy lights on, trinkling water, another beautiful setting to relax my body further as I continued to labour. Leaning over the couch, Paul surprising stroked my yoni ( I expressed a desire of this in the birth plan, although I didn’t think he would actually do it and for that moment labour was painless. We knew it was oxytocin the love hormone, that helps contract the uterus in labour and birth and also how the baby created in the first place. So anything to increase it, you bet it was on my birth plan.
Once the midwife set up at 6am she asked to examine & i gave consent. “Your 3cm dilated, im going to come back at 10am” she responded. WHATT you gotta be kidding”., oh dear im not even half way there and things are going to ramp up more. Malita the midwife insisted I get some rest so back to the bedroom to try get some sleep and thats exactly what happened, in-between each contraction I slept. Paul tracked and timed the contractions. while i had the tens machine on which I didn’t enjoy all that much. I laid on my side with a pillow in-between my legs to keep my pelvis open.
10-2pm Malita us back and it is on 🙂
When Malita arrived at 10am i was excited to discover I was 7cm dilated. My body was working hard
Between 10-2pm we continued to labour, we tried a lot of sitting on the toilet to open up my pelvis as I was struggling with incredible pain around the front of my hips it was like a shooting nerve every-time a contraction came. By this point it was hard for me to breath through the pain, and I certainly could no longer transmute it into pleasure. Still the most empowering experience to birth in the comfort of your own home.
We tried spinning baby positions, but I exclaimed “my legs my legs” I couldn’t be in any position that would close my psoas muscle. After the shower the midwife checked and confirmed I was 8cm. Time for the pool OMG why wasn’t I in here earlier, I was floating over the side which encouraged my psoas muscle to stretch and be open in-between contractions, these short breaks were so important to rest. During the contractions we tried front lunge hip opener positions to guide her down into the pelvis.
When contractions spaced out we moved into the bedroom and closed the door, Paul and I connected on our own, cuddles, nipple stimulation and kissing to increase the oxytocin again. I cried I was starting to give up, our baby was trying so hard to find her way through my pelvis.
I need to be transferred, she is stuck “my legs, I just can’t, I’ve tried everything”. I was assured that my body was showing all the right signs and if I would like to wait 1 hour and see if things were still progressing. I agreed and jumped in the shower on all floors and to my amazement I could feel my little angels head through self examination. We assessed me again in the bedroom 9cm and BOOM 3pm waters broke. “Your kidding I thought they broke last night’. Ok we are on and its time to get Mel back, I knew I needed someone who would just tell me exactly what to do.
Mel arrived at 4.30 with her breast pump, we did some fear releasing, some abdominal lifts and tucks to move her head into my pelvis more (She wasn’t coming down enough onto my cervix).
Around 5.15pm the midwife tried to manually push the cervix over the babies head to try and reach full dilation. While my partner was stimulating my nipples to increase oxytocin, baby girl was wriggling and moving her head, trying to find her way out, unfortunately we were unsuccessful pushing the cervix back.
Contractions were now 6mins apart from each other, my body and uterus were fatigued, and my nerves were still pinching every-time I received a contraction, After exhausting all options we decided it was time to transfer. We called the ambulance at 6pm to transfer calmly (just incase I birthed on the way) which was my best chance to keep her safe and continue at a natural birth.
I received the green whistle during the transfer and requested an epidural when we arrived to hospital and was giving the gas in the mean time.
although I yelled that it wasn’t working, so Mel turned it up twice. Beauty a bit of relief. The epidural followed 15mins later and they set up the oxytocin drip so it could allow my body to relax and the drip supported my uterus strengthen the contractions as it was really tired. I share the gas with Paul it been a long day and i was so proud of him for being my rock all with a sore back he earnt it. Below is one of my fav photos.
I slept for 3 hours and was woken up by the midwife who told me it was time to start pushing and that the doctors were watching the screens outside if i dont start pushing they will intervene, and I knew that meant c-section. I started to push, I felt a huge rush of adrenaline kick. The pain in my hips and legs were non existent. I had my hand on her head and with each push i could feel her coming down.
She is so close, i guided her down with my voice “mamma is ready for you” “common baby girl” i pushed and i pushed while resting in between allowing her head to do to the work for me. Oh feck this is intense ” the midwife had a warm cloth held on my perineum to prevent tearing, to which I didn’t tear. “Your pinching me your pinching me” I exclaimed (What felt like the midwife pinching me was actually bubba head entering the world) With one more grunt and squeeze I pushed my baby out and pulled her straight onto my chest, the relief was instant, I DID IT. I actually did it, she has made her way earth side and she is a beautiful brunette even though we both envisioned a blonde, nothing mattered in this moment we were so happy, 27 long hours, joy, laughter, pleasure, pain, tears it was all worth it to the moon and back, no words could describe this raw moment. We enjoyed our first beautiful golden hour together, uninterrupted, taking the time to get to know our little girl.
We had a semi lotus birth where we kept the umbilical cord attached to bubs until she received all her blood and nutrients and I pushed out my Placenta while she cuddled on my chest.
After about an hour when the cord was no longer pulsing and was floppy, white and empty, Paul cut the umbilical cord
She latched beautiful straight away and wow was my luttle prauna strong. We stayed on oxytocin high with skin to skin contact.
We named her Isla Louise Hobson born Jan 7th @12:34am
“A baby is like the beginning of all things: wonder, hope a dream of possibilities.”
If you made it all the way to the end I thank you for reading my birth story and hope it has inspired you to have a more conscious birth plan. If you have any questions please feel free to comment below 🙂
Much love Skye xo